I suppose after this length of time it is safe to tell the story!

Lt Col Murray was a keen Piper and decided we needed an LP record. But what do we have on the front cover? I know! soldiers in the Battalion representing a variety of roles and tartans etc.

So seven members of the London Scottish and one Gordons PSI were summoned to Scotland at vast expense with a variety of uniforms for a "photo opportunity" to join 29 others from the various other far flung Battalion locations.  We donned our appointed attire and assembled in the Car Park at HQ Company Perth Barracks, by now a riot of colour and equipment!

To get us all in, we formed four ranks. The first row kneeling, the second row standing, the third row standing on trestle tables covered with hessian and the fourth row standing on trestle tables perched on top of other trestle tables...you get the picture?....spotted the possible flaw in this arrangement yet??

Anyway, we all climbed up and shuffled along to our appointed locations and "assumed the position". About 45 minutes and many roles of film later, the photographer pronounced himself satisfied with the width and enthusiasm of everyones smile (except the Pipe Major who wasn't playing) and declared himself finished.  The RSM announced we could all get down – then the inevitable happened!

To a man, the whole of the top row started to move forward - predictably making the tables they were standing on move backwards (ain't Newton's third law a bitch!), whereupon they all catapulted forward onto the shoulders of the third rank who fell forward onto the shoulder of the second rank etc. – you get the picture!

I was located on one end of the front row, kneeling. I remember hearing a crash followed by startled cries, then seeing a riot of colour, bodies, kit and bagpipes cascade onto the ground in front of me!

Simon Scott-Barrett must have landed on his head, as I saw him leap to his feet and run around in large circles clutching his head and wailing loudly.

All around there were tangled bodies, swearing, broken bagpipes and assorted instruments and dishevelled uniforms with the white bits smeared with blood. It looked like a war zone, except that people don't normally fight wars in Mess Dress!

The ever flippant Ian Robertson, was doubled up on the ground in a sort of foetal position clutching his stomach and rocking violently. I was pretty concerned until I saw that he was convulsed with laughter! – a point not appreciated by one of the wounded Sergeants who tried to tear him off a strip, but clearly couldn't be heard.

I don't think anyone was actually hurt – unless you count mortally wounded Battalion pride, bagpipes and mess dress!

Last updated 7/12/00