I am sure that the West German armoured division, whose motto I have pinched for the title, will forgive me, indeed, I am sure that if they had ran in the Cross Country race they would have said it was a very accurate title.

We arrived at a cold and damp York station to find that the promised transport had not materialised so we had to catch a bus to Thirsk and plead with the camp to send out a Rover to meet us, this they decided to do and we were deposited in Topcliffe camp, the home of the Royal Horse Artillery, the time by now was 18.30 and dangerously close to opening time! We were shown our various quarters and made arrangements to RV at the guardroom at 19.45. By 20.00 Lt Cairns and Lt Pearson had not arrived and a search party was sent out and brought them back still chewing their dessert, we learnt one thing about RHA tradition, the Sgts eat early and the officers eat late - result - one starving Sgt and two officers with heartburn.

Lt Pearson thoughtfully brought along his good beer guide (it did not mention lager) and located a nearby pub selling the usual real ale sewage, we made our way there and were greeted by a friendly barman who said " Don't start any fights here ", I said " Oh go on ", and this seemed to break the ice; after a warming three pints we returned to camp and settled down for the night, the Jocks finding that their beating was not working and that it was warmer outside than in.

Breakfast was a civilised affair at 09.00 and after an early morning jog we all gathered at the start point to walk round the 5 1/2 mile course, this turned out to be a bad mistake, the ground was waterlogged and the mud incredible, 400 m after the start we had to run down a freshly ploughed field for what seemed an eternity, by the time we finished walking the course we were exhausted, ankle-deep in mud, and deep in our own thoughts.

We retired for lunch, changed into our running gear and assembled in the gymnasium by the start point, here we learnt that of the seven of us only six could run and the spare would have to act as a recorder, after discussion Pte Dawson elected to remain behind but as chance would have it due to an unfortunate delay one of K Coy's runners could not make it so Pte Dawson offered his services.

Suddenly the exit was crowded with pushing bodies, was it a fire. or a general call out? we asked. "The girls are starting their race", we were told, in a flash we were pushing and shoving with the rest!  Far from being the type of girls who were "one chromosome short of being a man", as Lt Pearson envisaged, they were a real shapely bunch and pretty with it and when they started with their legs pounding away many a spectator's heart missed a beat.

Our race was to start a mere 45 minutes later so we retired to complete some last minute preparations such as spreading vaseline in places that would drive a sailor mad and having that last precious cigarette (some people never learn).

My running shoes were a bright yellow and designed for road running-they soon clogged solid with mud and my feet weighed a ton. There was a well-trodden furrow which the 50 or so runners ahead of me had flattened and there was much pushing for this coveted path and I think I accidentally pushed one person over, but I did not stop to find out. After what seemed like an eternity we came off the field and on to a mud track, where I soon settled down and started passing others who had gone off too fast. God alone knew where the rest of the team were! The first mile was simply a case of survival, running down the mud track was a feat in itself, while trying to pass other runners you had to look out for the huge puddles, glutinous mud and mountains of horse manure!

We were fairly well strung out by now and the pushing and shoving was over; as we crossed into the airfield I recalled that we were half-way, here the race was over the airfield which was very long, flat and straight, so we could see the string of runners before us, the dot on the horizon being the leader. I latched on to two other runners who were going at my pace and the three of us gradually worked through the field by catching up to a lagging runner, resting on his shoulder for a while then sprinting away, this proved very effective and none of the victims recovered from this treatment.

Then we hit the small woods outside camp, the path being very narrow and covered with roots and stumps, and as the three of us entered the wood I stumbled and to keep my balance I had to stretch my legs out, when I recovered my balance my two colleagues were behind me so I pressed on to the next man in front.

Only a mile to go now as we entered the camp, by this stage we were all covered in mud and putting one leg in front of the other to stop ourselves falling over, in the distance the finish line was beckoning and I was in with a group of three others. Then 100 m from the end we all took off at the same time and tried to beat the other to the finish, we queued up at the tape and received our finishing discs and shook each others' hands in a spirit of friendly rivalry.

Our places were noted on the team sheet and totalled, the team with the lowest total won.

In conclusion I would like to thank all those present on that week-end for the high spirit shown and the tremendous amount of effort put in on the race itself, namely Lt Cairns, Lt Pearson, Sgt Hirlehey, L/Cpl Atchison, Ptes Dawson, Lewis and Sheehan.