TASAM - July 1979
Catterick / Bisley

A COUPLE more of those badges will be worn on the left sleeve this year (Cpl Granger please note). This is their story.

SUNDAY:
Caught midday train to Darlington, arrived 1700 where we met Pte Robertson who had just returned from a wedding in Scotland with a very sore head and a tonic water stained suit (ask him about it). We were picked up by the road party of weary Scots and moved to the nearby Catterick Garrison. "Yes," the guardroom orderly said, " A Liverpool Jock did turn up but we sent him away," luckily when we got to our billets he was there.

We quickly fixed a routine, slung our kit in and made for the nearest pub - it was called the Westerner but it looked more like Custer's Last Stand what with most of the mesh reinforced windows smashed!

MONDAY:
Reveille 0600 – Breakfast 0700

The food was quite good and we were amazed by the presence of WRAC'S, who found ten pairs of eyes follow- ing them everywhere. L/Cpl (Joker) Smith announced himself by asking the girls "Do you decorate your ankles?" and "Where do you get those shirts with the lumps in the front?"

Out to ranges for zeroing and gun balancing, break for lunch then gun practices fired by selected pairs, sadly no London Jocks amongst them.

Weapons quickly cleaned but rifles not to be broken all week, only the gas affected parts cleaned. Dinner at 1700 then back out to ranges shooting the ETR practice with the shooting team of 1 Yorks.  Back by 2030 and mad dash out to pub.

TUESDAY:
Reveille 0615 - Breakfast 0700

One of the Black Watch staggered in at 0630 after a heavy night.

Out to ranges on a glorious hot day and fired SMG practices in which G Company's shooters occupied three out of the top four positions. Then on to the ETR shoot, a complicated shoot, to copy it expose several sized targets at different ranges for short intervals at once until the firer is thoroughly confused.  Back for dinner then out at ranges until 2030, world record changing act got us out to the pub by 2130, time only to drink six pints of cold Hofmeister with a Chinese takeaway for afters.

WEDNESDAY:
Reveille 0630 - Breakfast 0700

Out to ETR range all day, the practices were now understood and the scores improving, but disaster struck some in the form of ETR knee, caused by snapshooting on the knee on hard stony ground, to emulate condition hit right knee cap repeatedly with a hammer! Those so troubled had to fire from the less stable standing position.

Break for lunch then GPMG pairs fired run down practice on a boiling day. Then moved to pistol range the pair chosen for the shoot were those that weren't quite as bad as everyone else.  Sgt Baker drove us to barracks for tea and showed us how to break the world land speed record while breaking your neck at the same time.  Out to ranges after tea and shared again another few run throughs of the ETR shoot, finished at 2000 and again mad dash out to pub, strange how you settle into these routines.

THURSDAY:
Reveille 0640 - Breakfast 0700

More ETR shooting in the morning, broke for lunch and while we were eating and getting sunstroke the Bisley team was announced, producing several long faces, bad luck on Pte Robertson who must have missed selection by a whisker - still we cheered him up by saying that now he could go on the Company weekend.

My chewing an apple prompted joker Smith to liken the sound to "a horse chewing padlocks", this convulsed us all. Where did he come from? Why the hell doesn't he go back there?

Back for tea then actual team out to ranges for a section shoot while the others cleaned the guns then went to the local Signals Regt disco. The team returned at 2000 and everyone went out to the pub for a last night celebration, when we got there the others that went to the disco were there, Pte Robertson explained that when they arrived carloads of talent were going in and as they produced their ID cards the young recruit on the door asked which regiment they were from and when he said Black Watch the recruit shrank visibly and said to his mate "get the Corporal", Joker Smith hurriedly said that he was with the Argylls, the recruit turned a whiter shade of pale and said "this is trouble", whereupon the Corporal appeared and explained that it was for the Signals Regt, only (for full expressions and actions ask Pte Robertson).

The training Major who makes Lt Cairns look stunted amazed us all by downing three pints in 15 minutes!  Eventually we tottered off back to the billets and removed all the springs from a certain person's bed but fell asleep before he returned.

FRIDAY:
Reveille 0659 Breakfast 0700

I was shaken awake by Pte Brown who had just stumbled in after searching every clothes line in Catterick for a trophy. Packed our bags and loaded up, since the G Company boys had return tickets we were dropped off at the station and caught the train into London.  We passed the journey by eating leg of pork "A la British Rail" with large quantities of wine. The road party picked us up at the Drill Hall and we moved to Bisley, sleeping in a packed Clubhouse.

SATURDAY:
Blistering hot day to start the competition; did most of the shoots. Pte Gray scoring a creditable 34/40 on one shoot and on another, the ETR shoot for which we had practised so hard, one person scored 10 out of 8!  This came about as by chance two targets at different ranges lined up exactly and on two occasions one bullet brought both down. Our falling plates team were knocked out in the last round before the semi-final mainly by the amount of dust kicked up by the team next to them being blown on to our targets.  A quiet night for most.

SUNDAY:
A bit cooler than yesterday and all the shoots went quite well without us actually winning any of them. In the final shoot we found ourselves one man short, and Sgt Waterman gallantly stepped in and saved the day, secretly pleased I am sure that he has now shot at Bisley for the Battalion. We packed up quickly and were away by 1700 and on the route back Sgt (I know the way to London) Baker took the Southampton turnoff and had to reverse a way back on to the roundabout.

In conclusion a very busy week teaching us that we really must have at least two weeks at it to stand a chance, still - next year ....

Steve Hirlehey